Bracing Emotionally…

Written by Scott

Topics: Uncategorized

emotions

We’re nearing the date, and if I’m going to be honest, I’m a mix of emotions in the lead up to it.

Note that I didn’t write that I’m a mess; I don’t think I am. But there sure is a range of emotions.

I’m really excited that she’s almost here.

I’m humbled and amazed at the people that have come around us in support and in love.

I’m awed at where the fundraiser has gotten.

I’m a little nervous…I mean, come on…it’s been over 7 years since we’ve had a little one. What if the new models are different?!

I’m a little worried. While spina bifida, hydrocephalus, and clubfoot are all treatable, there are risks…which is why she will initially be in NICU.

I’m thrilled, though, that her prognosis is better than what we were expecting before the MRI gave us the spina bifida diagnosis, where we were faced with, among other possibilities, having to explain to the littles what hospice care is.

I’m hopeful for her.

But I’m also a little sad. You see, I got to deliver the other 4 kiddos. I was the first one to hold each of them. And now…selfishly, I know…I’m faced with the likelihood that not only will I not be the first to hold her, but that I might not get to hold her for days after her birth.

So I’m bracing myself. Or more accurately, bracing myself more emotionally…or bracing myself emotionally more…whichever is more grammatically correct.