From the onset of the news of something being wrong and through the weeks that followed until we had an actual diagnosis, I never had the near-stereotypical breaking down and pleading with God for a particular outcome. There was no wailing, no begging, no attempted deal-making with the Creator.
And I don’t mean that to sound super-spiritual, because I’m not like that. Here’s why:
- I know that before she was even knitted together in the womb, God knew her.
- I know that ultimately God has a plan, and has things under control…way better than I could.
- I know that my best example in prayer comes from Jesus himself, who despite having the power and the authority to stop the soon-coming lashings, the mockings, the crown of thorns, and the crucifixion and death he was about to endure, prayed in the garden of Gethsemane “not my will, but yours, be done.”
That has been the foundation of my prayer. That His will would be done, and that through this all and whatever the outcome, His presence would be known.
Easy? No. None of this has been easy. It’s been anything but. It’s been painful. It’s been draining. It’s been stressful. It’s been a huge basket of all kinds of mixed-up emotions of all kinds.
But God has already shown up:
- in the people that have come around us, to love us, to help us practically and financially
- in the emails, messages, and words of encouragement we’ve received
- in the diagnosis itself, which was a huge relief compared to what we were facing
- in the transfer of care to Swedish Hospital, which has been a major stress reducer
Have I prayed beyond that His will would be done? Absolutely.
It’s a simple, but hopefully profound prayer: that Evanna would love God, love people, and love life, regardless of whatever struggles she may face.
Can I get an amen?
The fundraiser is still live, if you’d like to join us in this journey in that way. Any help is greatly appreciated.