There is No Coincidence…

A little background, otherwise very little of this post will make sense.

• My biological mom and dad divorced when I was 2.
• Mom moved my older sister and me across the country from CT to where she grew up, MT.
• When I was 5, mom remarried, and soon after my stepdad adopted us.
• My stepdad was an alcoholic and grew increasingly violent. I left home at 13 because of the abuse.
• A while after that, there were plans for me to go to CT to live with my dad, but those plans somehow fell through.
• In 1990, while on leave between assignments, I drove across the country. During that time I also met my dad, his wife, and their daughter. That meeting was extremely disappointing, because he wanted to get to know me as a friend…

So that’s the background.

For a while now I’ve been looking for that sister, hoping she’d pop up on Facebook or MySpace. And the week before last, she did. Now we are in the midst of catching up.

One of the very first things she told me is that about 6 years ago, dad had a stroke, which left him unable to talk. But recently, while doctors were doing some other tests, they discovered he had cancer. Cancer that had spread a lot. She told me that he only had a few months to live.

I wrote back and asked her to relay this message to him:

I’m sorry we never got the chance to know each other. There were a lot of decisions along the way that led to that, and virtually none of them were mine to make, but it is what it is. I have regret, but no longer hold that against you. I forgive you.

It was a hard thing for me to write, much less think about. And much less do. But it was one of those things where I very strongly felt led to do, so I did.

She told me that she shared that with him Thursday. He smiled.

And passed away Friday.

PS Reminder…when you hear that still small voice, listen to it…you may not know the significance.

A little background, otherwise very little of this post will make sense. My biological mom and dad divorced when I was 2. Mom moved my older sister and me across the country from CT to where she grew up, MT. When I was 5, mom remarried, and soon after my stepdad adopted us. My stepdad…